Why Do People Cheat?
When it comes to cheating, sex is usually the first thing that comes to mind. However, sex is rarely the only reason why people cheat.
So if it’s not just about sex, why do people cheat on their partners?
There are various reasons why people cheat, and what drives someone to cheat may surprise you.
Here, we’ll look at what drives someone to cheat so you can learn how to recognise possible warning signs of a cheater.
Why Do People Cheat? 10 of the Most Common Reasons
1. Lack of Emotional Connection
A lack of emotional connection is one of the main reasons why people cheat. Without enough emotional intimacy in a relationship, a partner becomes more vulnerable to temptation.
A partner that is not feel understood, cared for, or important may seek out an emotional connection outside of the relationship. This emotional connection can then progress to a full-blown emotional affair or crossing physical boundaries.
2. Poor Sexual Connection
Lack of sexual connection is another major factor behind why people cheat. If a couple has gotten complacent about their sex life, does not communicate their sexual needs openly, or does not feel comfortable talking about new ideas or techniques they’d like to try, it can cause tension and resentment.
If a partner is not having enough sex or getting their sexual needs met, it can lead a partner to seek sexual satisfaction outside of the relationship.
3. Relationship Status Assumptions
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you assumed you were monogamous but your partner was not as serious or committed as you? It can be easy to assume that because “I love you’s” were exchanged or if you spend a lot of time together you are only committed to each other.
Be sure to have a clear conversation about the status of your relationship and establish clear rules and boundaries together to ensure you and your partner are on the same page.
4. Poor Boundaries
Have you found yourself in a situation with a coworker, ex, or friend who is attracted to you and not afraid to show it? Perhaps they send you flirty messages, act inappropriately, or keep trying to spend as much time with you as possible — despite knowing you are in a relationship.
It is crucial for you and your partner to set boundaries with each other to protect your relationship against people who do not respect it.
And boundaries do not just involve romantic relationships. Boundary issues can also involve platonic relationships with friends or family. For instance, if an in-law is constantly making negative remarks about your relationship or trying to put a wedge between you and your partner, it is important to enforce boundaries that protect your relationship.
5. Revenge or Anger
Sometimes, the reason why people cheat comes down to revenge. If an individual is cheated on, they may feel justified if they turn around and cheat on their partner. It comes down to a mentality of “if you hurt my heart, it’s okay if I hurt yours”.
Cheating on a partner who cheated on you can also feel like a way of regaining control by inflicting the same level of hurt on your partner.
Whether it’s alcohol, sex, or another addiction, individuals who struggle with addictive behaviours may be more likely to cheat. Studies show a close link between addiction and infidelity.
In search of that mood-altering high that alcohol or sex can offer, individuals may go against their morals or engage in compulsive behaviour.
This can lead to an individual seeking out sex instead of regulating their emotions or working through feelings. Cheating can provide a form of escape that allows an individual to avoid stress or certain emotions.
7. Tempting Situations
Sometimes cheating simply comes down to being in the “wrong place at the wrong time”. For instance, if you are enjoying a night out and drinking too much, your inhibitions will be lower and you may cross boundaries that you usually wouldn’t.
Or, imagine co-workers who continually stay late to work on a project together. All that alone time may lead to a compromising situation that makes it easier for emotional or physical boundaries to get crossed.
8. Self-Esteem Issues
If an individual is struggling with self-esteem issues, cheating may provide a huge boost to their confidence. Connecting with someone new — physically or emotionally — and getting more compliments or feeling desired again can tempt an insecure individual.
This can lead someone with low self-esteem into a situation where they feel more confident or attractive through cheating.
9. A Need for Variety and Excitement
Whether you need more excitement in the bedroom or find your emotional connection getting stale, some individuals cheat in search of excitement. Heart-pounding secret meet-ups, carefree sex — it can all provide a thrill.
Think back to when you fell in love. Remember the butterflies in your stomach, the feeling of excitement when you saw each other, and the strong feelings when you first started dating your partner?
As a relationship goes on, these initial emotions eventually fade. Some individuals may find that cheating reignites these feelings and brings much-needed excitement and variety back into their life.
10. Unresolved Childhood Issues
If you experienced trauma as a child, it can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being as an adult. If you are struggling with underlying issues from the past, you may find it difficult to handle emotions healthily or may be emotionally unavailable to your partner. Without healthy tools or coping mechanisms, there may be a higher chance of an individual turning to cheat.
It is important to seek professional help for working through underlying issues and past trauma to pave a healthier future
Want to Find a Committed Relationship in Perth?
Have you noticed any of these reasons why people cheat on you or your partner? If so, there may be a higher chance you will cheat or get cheated on. Or maybe you’ve already experienced a relationship that ended due to cheating.
If you find yourself in relationship cycles that you just can’t seem to break, it may be time to learn about the benefits of working with a matchmaker.
The HYTCH mission is to provide the most extensive quality network in Perth and to help our clients find deep, meaningful love. Too busy with your professional life to make the time to find love? We take the worry and stress out of the process and help our clients find their ideal matches without sacrificing time.
Get in touch with our professional matchmakers at Hytch today to learn more about how we work or for a complimentary consultation.